Big Bad Cortez vs J.J. Halme

[Ryan Cooke]

Good luck to both!

[bigbadcortez]

[The camera begins to roll. Big Bad Cortez sits there in the corner. There is a drunken look on his face. His cap is turned sideways, thought probably not by his choice but some simple musing of the two women surrounding him. They pepper his neck with quick kisses before, if at unison, nibble upon his ear. There’s a simple degree of incoherence having to do with Cortez. His eyes are almost shut. There is a simple ecstasy, pure and almost innocent in a way. It is when, in this nightclub, owned by his debtors… Cortez has a hallucination.]

[It is almost as if it is some sort of flashback. This dream that merges in and out of reality blurs the lines between the visions his eyes reports and what his mind exactly understands. From the dense crowd on the dance floor, a woman steps out. A bright red dance catches his attention almost completely. The dress is enough to show off the voluptuous breasts, and the same time enough of the ass to drive any man wild. At least several of Cortez’s male peers stop and their eyes immediately focus in on the curvy figure of this mystery woman. Yet in the mind of Cortez, this is not stranger.]

[What he sees is the face of Natasha Nakamura or NN. Her long dark hair, feels like nothing but silk or at least, even by the distance that separates the hand of Cortez and this stranger’s hair, it feels as such. Her eyes shone in the bright lights of the club, a very dark black, but it is still reflective like any other color. Her pale skins bring contrast to her scarlet and pump limps. Cortez shakes his head… remembering all too way of this woman, who he is confusing with this complete and utter stranger. As if this is the point of passing out due too much alcohol intake, Cortez slips into dreamland.]

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[Miami Beach is beautiful this time of summer. The heat is thick, but at the same time there is nothing but hot senoritas wearing bikinis. Big Bad Cortez has spent every summer, every afternoon amid the hottest moment of the day, jogging. It is a test of endurance. In nothing but a pair of red and white swimming trunks, he would charge down that beach. His feet drill deep into the sand, and he continues running. Sweat pours down his body. The noise of the beach crowds are silent compared to the echoing of his deep and powerful breathes. Today is the hottest of day of the summer.]

[Towards the end of the beach, it is when every strikes him. His water bottle has been finished halfway though the run. The sun seems more blinding than ever. Before he knows it, the weight drops underneath his knees. Big Bad Cortez finds himself face first in the sand, spitting out sand. He has no idea what’s happening. Heat stroke has overtaken him.]

[Yet with a bucket of refreshing seawater he is brought to life. Within several moments, a water bottle shoves fresh water down his throat, quenching his thirst. He is turned onto his back, and an Asian stands above him with a concern look on her face. This is when he first met NN.]

NN: Hey dude, you okay?

Cortez: Who are you?

NN: I was sitting over there underneath that umbrella and saw you passed out. You shouldn’t be jogging at this time of day.

Cortez: I need to be stronger.

NN: You’ll going to end up dead. Come on, let’s get you into the water to cool you off.

Cortez: Water?

NN: Come on….

[Cortez feels his arm being pulled towards the sky. Cortez punches the beach before fighting to his feet. He is going to go swimming. Whoever this woman is, maybe she has saved his life or prevented him a hospital trip. Before he knows it, he has fallen into the shallow water, his body upon hers. Her bright red bikini top almost slips off in an exposing fashion.]

NN: Excuse me… you’re kind of crushing me.

Cortez: I’m sorry… I just can’t seem… what happened?

NN: You kind of fainted there again… but don’t worry, the water will cool you. Isn’t it nice that water is so necessary for life? It’s a real blessing we have the ocean here.

Cortez: I guess so…

NN: Now… can you… errr….

Cortez: Can I do what?

NN: Get off of me; you’re still kind of crushing me.

[Cortez releasing a slight laugh before rolling over, and for a second he is submerged by water. He drives his head out of the water, grasping for air. There they both lay, side by side, in a foot or so of water.]

Cortez: Thank you… I should be more careful.

NN: So why did you think it’s a smart idea to run in this heat…

Cortez: It’s part of my training regiment.

NN: What are you training for? You’re a football player aren’t you… what university?

Cortez: University? Nice, I wish I was smart enough to go to school. My brother went but not me. No, I’m training to be a pro-wrestler….

NN: Pro-wrestling?

Cortez: Yeah… it’s been my dream.

NN: Well, I guess I can’t knock you if it’s a dream of yours. Though you shouldn’t push yourself so hard… you could have gone-

Cortez: To the hospital… but thanks to you, I can avoid such that. I owe you.

NN: No. You don’t. It’s my pleasure to help you out. I like helping strangers out. It really warms the soul.

Cortez: I know what you mean… I like to volunteer down at the soup kitchen every thanksgiving.

NN: I’m sure your family loves that.

Cortez: I have none. It’s just me and my brother, Eddie. He’s ADA.

NN: I’m sorry to hear about that.

Cortez: You know what? To repay you, I think I should take you out to dinner.

NN: I’m sorry, but I can’t.

[Natasha appears to have had some reluctance saying that. Without saying another word, Cortez climbs out of the water. Cortez turns and begins to approach deeper water until he is able to dive. For several minutes, he swims, constantly diving water to cool off. Cortez, feeling a lot better and cooler, returns to the beach. NN has returned to her towel underneath the blue and white umbrella. Cortez drops down besides her.]

Cortez: Come on, it’s just dinner.

NN: I have boyfriend.

Cortez: So? It don’t have to be a date.

NN: He gets jealous easily.

Cortez: Then don’t tell him. If not dinner, then lunch somewhere near here.

NN: I don’t know…

Cortez: I feel like I need to repay you.

NN: But-

Cortez: Come on, you know you want to. Just come on, there’s a grill down the street. It’s a nice Cajun place. Let’s get going.

NN: I guess so.



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[Suddenly the seat he is sitting in is kicked with a swift boot. The music is no longer. The night club is dark. A tall heel of a boot stands between his legs, menacing his crouch. Sandra stands there. Her dress is riding up, giving Cortez a nice view.]

Sandra: Cortez… wake your ass up. We need to talk.

Cortez: Yes, ma’am.

Sandra: Where’s the money… I warned you if you didn’t pay, things will happen.

Cortez: I already gave you guy all that I earned… I can’t afford anymore or I’m shit out of luck when it comes to rent.

Sandra: I didn’t get any money, so don’t lie to me.

Cortez: I gave it to Roman. Ask him… even your bartender over there saw him. Then he decided to buy me several drinks.

Sandra: I don’t believe you! Roman wouldn’t have spent such money on buying drinks.

Cortez: Why else do you think I’m drunk?

[Sandra spits in Cortez’s face before reaching down and grabbing him by the chin. Her nails dig into his skin as Cortez looks up.]

Sandra: Don’t lie to me. I know your brother is liar, but I expected you to learn from his mistakes.

Cortez: I don’t know what you’re talking about. The man was like, ‘Sandra sent me to collect’, and I was like… ‘Okay, but it’s not the full due because of my loss’ and he was like ‘it’s okay…’ and he proceeded to buy everyone drinks.

Sandra: Grrrahh… IF I find out you’re lying to me, you’re dead. You understand that. I don’t like being lied to.

Cortez: I swear to god… I’m not lying.

Sandra: Stay put. I’ll find out.

[Cortez could only nod ‘yes’ before slipping back into a state of unconsciousness. This time this dream isn’t pleasant. Images of Sandra reaching down and ripping off his testicles haunt him. Let’s just say the rest of the night sleep isn’t much better story than that.]

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[The scene opens up. The backdrop is nothing more than an alleyway. Cortez isn’t drunk nor is he even in the same clothes. There is a joyous look on his face. Cortez leans against the brick of the building behind him. In the distant, you could hear music blaring from a party.]

Big Bad Cortez: Last Sunday Night Showdown did end in heartbreak for me. Yet I know that one man that is responsible for it is also one man I am able to prove myself that it wasn’t nothing but situation that put me out of that match. That man is one Finnish jerkoff named J.J. Halme. It’s not like I have a huge problem but it was between him and Demetrius, they were just strong enough to eliminate me. You know what I say to that?

It wasn’t a one-on-one match. It was just a wild match, which fulfilled not a real search for a World Champion but instead only the booker’s imagination. It’s as simple as it goes. We saw some jerkoff that no one expected raise from the dead and walk away as the champion. Still it did not prove who was stronger. It didn’t prove who was the better wrestler… or in fact the best of PPW. All it did was raise questions that in these following weeks we have a chance to change.

I’m not trying to downplay your talent, Halme. What you did was fair… but the match itself wasn’t. I believe that maybe you… or maybe Demetrius, or hell… maybe even myself could have walked away as the champion if the match was set up to properly represent this sport. I am not a sore loser, but I am a man who can easily want to properly represent the true essence of this sport. I rather fight though multiple tournament matches, even if it is more effort and hard work to survive, because it actually has little to due with luck unlike this scramble match.

If you can’t tell, I’m a little frustrated. Sure I got my hopes up. Sure my dreams got crushed. Yet it just means I’m more motivated than ever, J.J…. so much more, I just can’t way to put those gloves on, and tie my boots. I want to step in that right. To release all this anger. I want to cleanse my soul. To do that, I’m going to inflict some much punishment… to show to wrestling world that match didn’t proper represent shit. You might have outlasted me, but you’re not as good as me. Call me cocky, I don’t care… it’s the name of the game…. I’m just confident in my skills. I’m sure that you’re going to bring a fight. I’m sure that you’re going to push me to my limits, but you know what… I’m simply going to push pass that….

And continue on my road to greatness.

[Fade to Black]

[Mikko]

The events of last Sunday will not go unforgotten. One event in particular that statement holds its truest. Some would say the occasion in question was CJ Rowel making his entrance to become the first PPW champion. But the truth is, that was nothing more than a secondary chain reaction.

The real story comes just moments before Derek Shanahan came walking out. When all the power was in the hands of just one man, JJ Halme. He had the power to do as he did and nail Demetrius with Mustamakkara. Or he could have realigned the stars and taken the glory for himself. One strike from the Hammer of Ukko would have put Demetrius on the mat so hard he'd be rethinking his career.

Fast forward to the present day. JJ Halme sits on a rock along the shore of Suomenlinna. A brick wall stands tall behind him, still in fairly good shape after all these years. Leena is actually walking along the top of it, her arms outstretched as though she were on a balancing beam. The wind gusts are incredible, combined with the blistering cold of a Finnish Winter.

Another wall stands before JJ, a wall known as Big Bad Cortez. This coming Sunday they will square off in the ring in a pseudo rematch from the scramble six. This pairing is particularly special, all things considered. While it was Demetrius Burrell who was credited with putting the big man out of the match. One has to wonder, was it Ukkonvasara that finished him off? I know one Suomalainen poika that believes so.

"Cortez, I don't want you to hurt me. I want you to know that I wish I could go back and stop myself from nearly taking your head off with Ukkonvasara. I wish I could do that. All this is true. Just as it is true that you had a chance at winning the scramble six.”

The grin on his face now couldn’t be defined any other way than shit eating.

“What a joke. Not only is it certain that I put you out of that match. It is also certain that once you were eliminated by Demetrius, you lost all possibilities. So quit whining about it and blaming it on circumstance. It was the way it was, deal with it.”

His eyes may as well have moved into the back of his skull at this point. His disgust with the situation has grown to pure loathing.

“So now you get your chance. You get your chance to prove yourself against the man who put you down. But once again Old Yeller, I’ll put you down. This time there will be no Demetrius Burrell to take the credit. No gang of thugs to soften you up before the Hammer drops. Big Bad Cortez, this time you will be defeated. I will become Surma on the guard of Tuonela. And you? You will become the prey that I destroy.”

For those uninformed, look up Finnish paganism on Wikipedia. This man is far more sinister than you realize!

“It isn’t my duty anymore to prevent you from winning. It will be my pleasure.”

Leena comes walking now from around the corner to join Jukka by his side. She decides to “grace us now with her take on the matter. Jukka turns and faces into the wind.

“Cortez, you’re outmatched. All of PPW is. You just don’t understand anything about Finnish Sisu. This place, Suomenlinna was Helsinki’s biggest defense against the Soviet Union during the Russian Revolution. And it held. It sank ships in a crushing defeat that lead to the ultimate demise of the empire. This is where we come to prepare. To harvest the true power of war. To bring it with us to the ring and spread the seeds of battle, nurtured with the blood of the enemy. You are the enemy Cortez. Do you really want to become our opponent? Do you really it to be personal? Accept my advice, Cortez. Show up Sunday, lose the match and move on with your life. Because dwelling on it isn’t going to change anything.”

Jukka turns back again and puts a hand on Leena’s shoulder.

“He’s not going to understand. Ukko, Surma, Suomenlinna, and more importantly, Sisu…. They mean nothing to him. That’s why he won’t beat me. Come, we have real business to attend to.”

She laughs before giving a smirk to the camera. A twinkle in her eye as Jukka walks off. She brings one hand up, middle finger in full salute and sticks out her tongue. One final goodbye as she prances along behind Jukka. They head up the hill along the wall as the screen goes blank. What the hell is with these two?

Oh yeah.

They’re Finns!